My Friend Russell
People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person. - Author Unknown
It was cold. Probably sometime in late February or maybe even early March in 2017. I waited near the entrance to the track with my wife, Erica, as the wind blew on this cloudy, grey day.
A few days before, the Athletic Director at the school our sons attended, told me that a parent was interested in having their daughter work with a speed trainer to help her get faster. He asked if I was interested. I told him, “Sure.”
I had worked with many athletes in track and football and even basketball (not on skills, but in overall quickness). My sons managed to perform well in their respective sports, and many people knew them for being fast. Most people knew that I trained them, so it wasn’t uncommon for someone to ask me to help their kid.
But this was different from the start.
“This is Russell.” The voice on the other end was excited. “My daughter Sophie is a tennis player and we really think she needs some help to get faster.”
Tennis?
I didn’t know much about tennis other than, “Game. Set. Match,” which our 8th grade P.E. Teacher would yell out to us, as his way of teaching us how tennis matches were scored. I was a casual observer of tennis at best. I knew the names of the top male and female players; I went to the Charleston Family Circle Cup on Daniel Island a couple of times, and I had even ventured up to Arthur Ashe Stadium on a couple of occasions when I lived in New York.
It’s safe to say that I wasn’t a “tennis guy.”
I told Russell this and he assured me that it didn’t matter for what he was looking for. “I’ll show you all of the tennis stuff,” he added. I listened to him ramble off details about foot positioning and forehands and backhands and I reminded him again that I didn’t play tennis. “That’s okay,” he reiterated, and we set up a time to meet so that I could see Sophie run.
Russell wasn’t late. We were early. Even if we had been late, I couldn’t have faulted him, because this was a guy with a lot of things moving all at once (which I would come to learn), and he took his responsibilities seriously.
I could hear the engine of his sportscar before I knew it was him. It was a sound that I would become very familiar with.
Though it was cold outside, when I met Russell, he had on tennis whites (shorts and polo shirt), and tennis shoes. He beamed as he and Sophie walked toward Erica and me. He looked like he could’ve been a retired tennis pro himself. He was just as excited in person, as he was on the phone.
From the moment, we shook hands and he turned to Sophie to introduce her to me, it was clear that Russell had a vision. He knew exactly what he wanted for his daughter and though she was only in 7th grade at the time, I would come to learn that she too also knew exactly what she wanted.
I told Sophie to run two warm-up laps. I could hear her feet clomping on the other side of the track. She wasn’t awkward or anything like that. “She has to learn how to run first,” I said to Russell. He nodded as if he already knew that and began talking about tennis. I listened intently, understanding as he demonstrated forehand and backhand movements and how Sophie would need to hurry and get positioned. Of course, Sophie was still running on the track, so I had to split my ears to listen to him and her. I knew quickly that Russell was a talker and I wondered since I liked to talk a lot too, how we were going to do this.
That day I taught Sophie the “Waring Warmup,” which I had taught to my own sons (can’t share the “secret sauce”), some running basics, and we set up a training schedule.
When we started our next session, Russell was there again. He talked more tennis and always asked about my sons. He knew as much about track as I knew about tennis. We took turns in between me instructing Sophie digging deeper into the details of running and forehands. By the end of our second session, I could tell that Sophie was different. Russell shared with me her national and state rankings. She was known, but not nearly ranked as high as they believed she should be. But that’s not what I mean by different. Sophie had the competitiveness and drive, unlike any other young athlete I had ever seen in my life. This included my own children.
Her inner resolve was incredible.
Over the course of the next few months, I would meet Sophie after school to train her. Sometimes we would meet at her lunchtime, and she would eat right before or right after we were done. During summer, I would hear that car pull up and Sophie would get out and come to the track. Most of the time she had already hit balls in the early mornings with her Coach or Russell and when she finished with me, she would go home, eat, and then go back and practice again in the evenings.
There were tournaments every other weekend it seemed. Russell and Sophie’s mom, Heidi, would often travel with her all over the country, as Sophie played. She got faster and faster. She soared up the rankings and was soon at the top where she belonged.
Summer turned into fall, and we kept training. Spring came again, and we continued.
Sophie worked relentlessly and gladly took on every challenge that I gave her. This girl was tough and steel-willed. I had no doubt that Russell had something to do with this. He didn’t strike me as a guy that would give up on anything that he wanted to do.
Sophie was playing so well and traveling so much, that she eventually began home-schooling. It only made sense. She had already won the school a state title and was simply too dominant for the girls she practiced with and competed against in school events. Russell and I met for lunch and drinks, and soon our conversation shifted to things outside of sports. He would later refer other players to me for training. He was just genuinely a nice person.
Russell knew that tennis would afford Sophie many opportunities and he wanted to see them come to fruition. “She’s going to go to college, but she can still compete in pro tournaments. If she likes it, she’ll probably turn pro in school,” he shared.
I liked Russell from the day that I met him. We were from two different worlds, but we had the same goal. We wanted to see our children do their best in their athletic pursuits, and we were willing to support them in every way possible. This was a commonality that established a fast bond. It wasn’t long before we talked about things outside of sports and our children. I really liked Russell and I felt like the feelings were mutual.
It was time for Sophie to move on. She had outgrown Charleston. She soon began training in Florida and I would only see her between tournaments when she came home, and then mostly I encouraged her to rest. By then, things were picking up for me in LA, and my wife and I made the decision to move back home. We decided to have a going-away gathering with a few friends in Charleston. Russell and Heidi were among our guests.
“Heidi and I are worried about you guys.” Russell’s words struck something inside of me. Of the 60 or so people there that evening, none had used those words. Most wished us well and hoped to come and visit someday. Though I know we were surrounded by love, this simple sentence from Russell affirmed my belief from that cold day in 2017, a true friendship had been born. I assured him all would be well, and we laughed and talked for quite some time.
I never forgot his words. I didn’t take it as him saying, “We’re worried about you, don’t go.” No, I received it as “We truly care about you and want you to be okay.”
It was 2019.
Russell and I continued to check in occasionally, and I would always ask about Sophie. She was excelling and continuing her ascent in the game. She was like family to us. We had spent so much time together that it just naturally happened.
Sometime in late 2020, Russell reached out to me because Sophie needed help. She wanted to get back to doing some of the training methods we used. He asked if I would help and of course, I agreed. I had a lot going on, but there was no way I wouldn’t make the time to help her. Russell and I spoke on the phone, and he sounded the same as usual; upbeat and happy. I wrote workouts for Sophie and Russell and I would text.
At first, I would ask him a question and he would get right back to me. Soon, those responses began to take longer and longer. One day he texted me and said, “Did I ever tell you that I was diagnosed with ALS?”
“No. I didn’t know that.” I responded but it didn’t click. “Make sure you take care of yourself.” For some reason when I read ALS, my brain believed he said Parkinson’s. I’m not sure if this was on purpose or not. But that’s what I did.
Our text communication soon became even less frequent. As National Signing Day approached, I was thrilled when Russell texted that Sophie had committed to the University of Florida to play tennis and she would be signing her National Letter of Intent. He added that she would play for 2 years and then go Pro. Russell’s plan had come together perfectly. As if there was ever any doubt that it wouldn’t.
I texted him on signing day to ask him to send pictures of Sophie signing. I wanted to brag about her. I had done that for years; not as someone I trained, but as this incredible athlete with an incomparable work ethic. No one would outwork Sophie. Ever.
Sure enough on Signing Day, Sophie signed and she sent me pictures. When I saw Russell, I got a lump in my throat.
I did not know. I did not know. I did not know.
He sat in a chair and though he had the same grin that I had seen so many times before, I could tell that something was wrong. I still believed that he had Parkinson’s. I was so happy for all of them. I was so proud of Sophie. I did not want to ask him any questions. In hindsight, I wish I asked questions of Heidi, a physician, earlier.
I stared at the picture of Russell and Sophie. I texted him and told him that I got the pictures from Sophie. He responded with a brief message. I felt bad for Russell. I felt bad for Heidi and of course, I felt bad for Sophie. I didn’t expect things to change so quickly.
I texted Russell a few weeks later and he responded with a message that began with, “I am texting this with my eyes…”
I told Russell that I would be praying for him and that I would check on him from time to time. I wanted him to know that I was praying for all of them. He thanked me for the message and told me it would be great to hear from me.
I prayed for them daily. I asked Sophie how her mom and dad were doing, and she would always say they were “Okay.” I thought about Russell often, so I texted Heidi and asked her to please keep me posted. She promised she would. I kept praying for the three of them. One day I asked Heidi about what exactly Russell had been diagnosed with and she replied, “ALS or Lou Gehrig’s Disease.”
My heart sank. I knew in my soul, but it was different when I read it this time. I began to think of my friend Russell and how talkative he had been. Vibrant. Funny even at times. I couldn’t imagine what things must’ve been like for him, in the state he was in. My prayers shifted to wanting comfort and peace for him and peace and protection for Heidi and Sophie. I sent Heidi a message and asked her to read it to Russell and she promised that she would.
I thought about Russell every day. I talked to my wife about him often and told her, I just felt bad for him. I cried thinking about him and what he was going through. For someone who has always thought of himself as a “fixer” for everyone else, there was nothing I could do here. Finally, I prayed that God would not let him suffer.
A week later, I got up and went for my usual morning run. It felt good and when I came back Mystic and King were eating breakfast and Erica was in the kitchen. I went to my bedroom to shower, and Erica followed me. After a moment, “…Russell’s gone,” she said. She hugged me and I nodded. “Yeah,” I replied. I knew.
My wife told the boys that I probably would want to chill out and to expect me to be a bit down for the day, but I told her I was fine. I had come to peace with it. My mind ran to Heidi and Sophie, and I wondered if they were okay. I texted them and they were. They had lived through this, and I know they wanted peace for Russell as well.
Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (also known as ALS, Lou Gehrig’s disease, or motor neuron disease) is a disease that gradually paralyzes people because the brain is no longer able to communicate with the muscles of the body that we are typically able to move at will. Over time, as the muscles of the body break down, someone living with ALS will lose the ability to walk, talk, eat, swallow, and eventually breathe.
There is no cure for ALS and few treatment options for most people living with the disease. Approximately 80 % of people with ALS die within two to five years of being diagnosed.
ALS is a horrible disease. Research continues to find a cure. If you’re able, please make a donation in Russell Williams' memory to the UF Foundation, PO 100243, Gainesville, FL 32610. Donations will be used for ALS research at the UF Fixel Institute for Neurological Diseases. Online donations are also accepted at http://fixel.ufhealth.org/.
Gifts can also be made to the Dean Williams F. Putnam Scholarship Fund at the University of South Carolina. Checks can be made out to the USC Business Partnership Foundation and please include William F. Putnam Scholarship in the memo. The mailing address is the following: USC Business Partnership Foundation, 1014 Greene Street, Columbia, SC 29208.
Dedicated to the loving memory of my friend Russell.
Thaddeus Russell Williams, 53, of Charleston, South Carolina, entered into eternal rest on Tuesday, March 29, 2022. Known as Russell, he heroically battled ALS after being diagnosed three years ago. Russell was born July 6, 1968 in Alexandria, Virginia, son of the late George Thaddeus Williams and Mildred Russell Williams. Russell's parents returned to their home state of South Carolina when Russell was a young boy after his father left his post at the Justice Department. Russell spent his childhood between Clinton and Spartanburg, the home of his grandparents, with whom he was particularly close.
Russell was the grandson of The Honorable Donald S. Russell, former Governor, US Senator, and President of the University of South Carolina. Russell went on to graduate high school from the Canterbury School in Connecticut, but he returned to the state he loved for college, and he completed his undergraduate degree at the University of South Carolina. He went on to receive his MBA and Law Degrees from American University in Washington, DC. Anyone that knew Russell will remember his love of life, his laughter, and his loyalty. Always the champion of the underdog, there was no challenge he was not willing to tackle, and he would do so with 100% of his being. Once described by one of his friends as "the most interesting friend that I have," Russell was truly unique. He was an entrepreneur, an athlete, a history and political buff, a car enthusiast, and a connoisseur of eclectic music. Russell had the most amazing group of friends that spanned each phase of his life, which spoke to his character, and his generosity touched many. Russell is survived by his wife of 24 years, Heidi Dollenberg Williams; daughter, Sophie Williams of Charleston, SC; two sisters: Virginia Williams of Spartanburg, SC and Cecilia Williams Powell (Todd) of Columbia, SC.
Beautifully shared, Ayinde. I know of the impact that your friend Russell (Sophie's Dad) had on you and Erica. He believed in your magic to help athletes run faster with a purpose and goal in mind at all times. He knew what he was getting when he entrusted Sophie's running training to you all those years ago. I also know of the impact you had on Sophie through her training sessions on and off the track. Continued prayers to her and her mother. Time is everything; the time we have before us and the time that is behind us. Thank you for sharing! ...Sugar